I always dig her live performances. I've seen quite a few of her concert DVDs from Concert Tour 2000, Countdown Live 2000-2001 to misunderstood Arena Tour 2006 through Countdown Live 2006-2007 , & they've never failed to amaze me. With each new one, she just keeps raising the bar & this one's no exception! Overall, its great right from the very beginning; her vocal performance & of the her band & backup dancers were nothing short of amazing & the complementing elaborate Moulin Rouge costume, set & theme were breathtaking. Most of the songs performed are from her 8th album 'Secret', some past i.e the usual & familiar Evolution, UNITE!, Boys & Girls that has been featured in her many concerts before ~ never mind that as those songs are usually arranged & performed differently from concert to concert. In my opinion, the favorite show-stopper from this concert would be Secret ~ powerful & poignant vocal breakout from her in the last chorus verse, capped with introduction of the flying dancers into the scene.... but then again so was kiss o' kill... just as equally moving & powerful... so was part of me with the beautiful prelogue stage visuals & kimono theme & costumes... can't decide... i just like all the songs performed! One interesting to note is that the behind-the-scenes documentary that covers all from rehearsals to final day of tour in a road-movie extravaganza is chopped up into little parts & integrated into the concert after every song or two, instead of the usual DVD#1 - concert & DVD#2 - behind-the-scenes documentary format. The pace is just nice if you're watching it part-by-part, like me... the downside: when watching from beginning to end (113 + 102 minutes), those little documentary parts tend to break up the momentum of the show. Stage stops of her Asian tour encompassed Yokohama, Nagoya & Osaka in Japan, to Taiwan, Shanghai & Hong Kong. I bet, half of the fans that flocked to the sold out stage stops outside Japan had barely-there proficiency of Japanese language.. just like me! Ha, i guess the sound of music is indeed a universal language... =)
*i dream of attending her concert someday; i hope she's not retiring anytime soon... =p *

An acoustic rendition of Rihanna's Umbrella by ~ Marié Digby. A beautiful song with equally poignant lyrics, sung by a pretty face with a beautiful voice. I dig this song so much that, if any girl would sing it to & for me, i'd date her =p

She rocks too; though this one's a sad song of despair ~ lyrics bear significance to passing of a loved one. Could have been written for the passing of her estranged father. So much emotion put into this song that watching it gives me the chills.

I remember I went to sleep late that night feeling uneasy
And had a very sad dream
The phone started to ring in the morning, breaking the silence
And the premonition became a reality
Leaving an unfading scar on my heart
You became a star, alone

* Sayonara -- You have gone to the place where we can never meet again
I can't accept the coldness of our eternal parting
I wish I could have heard from you
That I had certainly been loved by you
Only once, even if it had been a lie

The sorrow I had thought to be endless came to an end
The season has changed, I feel bitterly cold
I will never forget that first day of summer
The sky kept on weeping instead of me this year
I feel as if I were living in the continuation of the dream
And I can't even cry now

Sayonara -- Even my last words don't reach you
It forces me to realize the coldness of our parting
I wish I could have heard from you
That you never regretted the days we had spent together
Only once, even if it had been a lie

Why did you do it this way
Leaving memories only to the very end?

Please tell me this is only the story of the continuing dream
And that I'm not yet awake

Voyage ~ Ayumi Hamasaki

I just love this performance. Incredible vocal performance, & i thought the way it blended immaculately with the musical pieces & voices of the support choir was indeed amazing. Definitely one of her best live performance i've seen; her voice really shone thru. Never mind that she messed up the first part by forgetting the lyrics; she made up for it pretty well spontaneously & did saved the song anyway. Kinda cute neh =)

Got Secret?

Finally got Secret at RM55; featuring 14 tracks on a CD + DVD format. The steeper pricing compared to the recent A-Best2 compilations is probably due to the newer songs featured (it was released in Dec ’06). I’ve pinned high expectations on this release; after browsing thru reviews after reviews & sampling some of the tracks, glad to say that she does not disappoint. I find the songs compilation to be exceptionally fluid, with brilliantly composed interludes seamlessly bridging the transition of songs from trance-rock to emotional ballads & upbeat-pop. This is one of those albums I keep playing as a whole without skipping a track. It is also impressive to note how her vocal style has evolved from a young & straight-high pitch sounding to a deeper, huskier & mature sounding voice. For I have not been following her music for the last couple of years, I would have missed part of her career evolution. Well, at times we find that our biggest interest now will fade into a nostalgic memory in the future. But, there are also times we lose interest & then come back with a bang. Like my interest in Ayu’s music.

Though she has garnered quite a huge international following in the recent years, she still writes songs generally for the Japanese audience. The J-pop music scene being somewhat fundamentally different from the western music & mainstream Chinese music that we grew up listening to, most of us (non-Japanese audience) may find some of her songs sounding too intimidating to appreciate. The vocal styling, hit notes, harmonizing & rhythm driven lyrics might not sound very musical to the unaccustomed ears. Being a person who embraces differences easily, I’ve grown to appreciate most of her works, her distinctive poignant & haunting vocals, and more recently her writings (thanks to conveniently accessible online sources).

I’m not one who gets excited easily or believes in idolization ~ my buddies can attest to that. But I hold a lot of admiration & respect for individuals of her caliber & dedication; individuals who strive towards their dreams, trying to make it on their own terms, while being honest & true to themselves.

One thing that strikes me most about is her writings, which stand out as being sincere ~ penning out her thoughts & feelings honestly & precisely; it says a lot about her morality, character & belief. No bubbly I Love You s, cheesy Baby Do It One More Time or generic exaggerated proclamations & no indiscriminate English slang dropping so popular with Asian pop music these days. One can’t help but notice that many of her writings are reflective of emotions of deep sorrow, loneliness & despair but always with a strong will to overcome them, which can be felt in her songs; revolving around contradicting themes of finding strength in weakness, a glimpse of hope in darkness, beauty in today’s violent & pessimistic reality.

Sadness is one of the great emotions, the great asset in life; one must not deny it nor affirm it. But nothing will be solved without facing it.

Having spent her unhappy childhood in solitude when her father abruptly left, she pretty much grew up on her own, becoming an introversive person talking with herself and a perfectionist judging herself always severely ~ largely influenced her autobiographical songwriting style. She has the seeking mind for the fulfillment of life. Through all the odds & obstacles, she has made it as an accomplished musician on her own terms.

Perhaps what makes me gravitate towards her & her music ~ is the person that she is; character, beliefs, strengths, shortcomings, struggles & experiences is somewhat reflective of my own:

An introvert who seeks to be heard & understood; has problem expressing him/herself – looks calm & trouble-less on the surface but has complex feelings & emotions locked inside?

Is not very good in communicating with others, maintaining a thin veil of invisible wall when confronted with strangers, & to some degree hesitating to involve deeply in personal relations; one who does not take relationships lightly?

One who mingles with deep thoughts on fundamental questions of life; not a quick thinker & apt to talking slowly ~ slow in mind = stupid?

One who strives to stay true & honest to him/herself in pursuit of life’s dream

I’m intrigued by what is she like, how she is living & has lived & why she can write such excellent lyrics…

Inspired by Masa's personal view & interpretations =)

On her most recent album released late last year. I have read countless of reviews on this & sampled some of the offerings. These are the ones that made a more profound impression on me, so I’m going to chip in my 2 cents, with references from some enlightening sources, of course.

The Tracks:

Blue Bird – one of the few pop genre upbeat songs featured on the album. It’s got a catchy tune complementing Ayu’s uplifting vocals. I find it terribly addictive; makes me just wanna groove to the rhythm. Saw her performing the song as the final encore on her Best of Countdown Live 2006-2007 DVD (came with A Best2 – White-); loved it instantly, been humming in my head ever since. Definitely one of her best summer songs to date, in my point of view.

Until that day – A song that portrays her way of life: the struggles throughout & the ideals. It falls under the rock-trance hybrid genre with edgy & powerful vocal renditions from Ayu. Listening to it for the first time literally got me jumping on my seats; this song really rawks!

JEWEL – A find this one a beautifully penned poignant ballad with simple yet touching meaning; telling the story of a wounded heart learning to love by being loved & is consequently touched & wishes to treasure her loved one.

“I wasn’t sad at all, but the reason my eyes brimmed with tears
was because you seeped through the scar of my heart
and turned it into such a tenderness, that it hurt to think of you”

Saw the MV, a stunning display of glitterati set in a frozen winter field with flowers, snow, butterflies, trees in an everything jewel-ized state. Not to mention intricate jewelry-studded gowns that looked like they carried the whole collection of Van Cleef & Arpels. No wonder it reportedly costs 100 million yen to make.

Momentum – another of my favorite, an emotional ballad with rock elements reminiscent of her earlier masterpiece M – a style uniquely & distinctively Ayu that I really dig.

Starting off with soft orchestral instrumentals & transitioning to a powerful emotional piece when the chorus breaks in, I personally find it heavenly sounding. It speaks about the contradicting feelings of a person wishing to let go of the past but could not bear to part with her precious memories.

I have yet to view the full version of the MV, which contains a very poignant plot & artistic symbolism:

Relating the tale of a girl who died in the past, but is still unable to let go of her love for a man, who has now grown old. To her loving him was her first & last miracle, which she holds onto as her last hope. Thus, she stands out in the cold snowy days by a lamp post, hoping the meet him again. The lamp post scene is symbolical of the candle; there is a myth that a dark cellar exists with candles & everyone is connected with a lighted candle. Once the candle has burnt out of has been accidentally extinguished, the person connected to it dies. The guarding of these candles is Death, who seems to give her another chance by using her own candle’s flame to light up her extinguished ones. She briefly returns as a spirit, in time to see her past lover lay flowers at the spot where she died. In the end, a gust of wind extinguishes the candle before she can reunite with her lover for the last time.

Another tragic love song.

Secret – the defining song of the album. A very Chinese sounding emotional ballad; it’s the ending theme song for a HK movie, Confession of Pain starring Takeshi Kaneshiro. Haven’t seen or heard about the movie yet, I thought it sounded like one of those Cantonese flicks with plot along the lines of the Internal Affairs sort.
"Even now, I am as always
Searching for a place to be
There is nothing else I’d rather have"
Though, I still find it rather plain, despite its poetic & poignant lyrics.

1 LOVE – one of the highly acclaimed pure-rock genre track on the album - Loud & powerful sounding with raw & unpolished vocals. The lyrics relate the story of an outlaw girl being a fighter, paving her own way in her life without following anyone. However she relies on love, where she finds solace and is the only thing she needs in her life. Impressed by the vocals but the tunes have yet to grow on me. I really liked the gothic-grunge theme MV, though. It potrayed a dehumanizing theme, where people are treated like mere commodities to be sold for the whims of the rich. In the MV, Ayu appears as a sexy pole dancer being auctioned at a human market by a secret society of the elite. She throws money in the air, as a sign of independence showing that money is not everything to her.

I’ve been a fan since her debut in 1998, back when she was the timid little girl with a squeaky voice & little self confidence. There’s something about her style & persona – her feelings & attitude, in which she manage to convey in her music; so raw & emotional, simple yet meaningful & touching is appealing to me. Feelings of anger, despair, regret, resignation, fear, pain, loneliness, forgiveness, hope & love poignantly penned & sung are ones that I connect & hold on to in everyday life & struggles. There are expressions of my inner self, feelings that my heart wishes to convey but could never find the words for to voice out. Perhaps I felt the connection in the sense that, we are always searching for a place to be, seeking for the one thing that matters most in life, the only one that we could find solace in.

Over the years, her music, vocals & writings have evolved, grown mature & refined; though I have missed her recent couple of music years, as I felt they’ve somewhat lacked the charm of her earlier masterpieces. However, a trip to the music record capital of Kuching – Kenyalang Park got me picking up one of her latest compilation & boy, was I intoxicated, again. Love her or hate her, this is definitely not everyone’s cup of tea. It does not matter if she is no longer as popular as she once was; I still dig her style & enjoy her music just the same.

My Impression: Fairly impressed to say the least. I can’t wait to get my hands on Secret. Though spending 150 bucks on records in a month is not reflective of a sound budget; especially during cash-strapped times like these. I’m going to get it anyway.

Sources:

http://www.channel-ai.com/blog/2007/02/14/secret/

http://ayumi.primenova.com/lyrics.php