Saturday, August 25, 2007

20 Golden Office Rules... (fwded)

1. Rule 1. - The Boss is always right.
2. Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1 . When in doubt, always abide by Golden Rule #2
3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.
4. Ph.D. Stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down. Especially when that person is such an a$$^&* to work with
5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it. Now, what i need to do is get really good at what i do..
6. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves. Only applies to subordinates
7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do. Manipulation of words does the trick
8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt. Literally
9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. irreplaceable = neck-deep in pool of shit but still surviving well... now, nobody's going to fill in your shoes, unless they've got guns pointed at their heads
10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. Put up with shit = get more shit (usually non-optional)
11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. Depends on how high your "long-piak" tolerance is
12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried. Everybody's an Oscar winner when it comes to playing this part
13. Following the rules will not get the job done. This is one trick the old dogs would pick up faster than the newbies
14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done. It amazing how 90% of the work gets done in the last twilight minutes
15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous".
16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough. the infinite yardstick
17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.
18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job. True enough, just stick with #19
19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.
20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong The ideal scapegoat ~ is the one who's no longer around to defend themselves

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